UB Consultant, Helen King, LCSW, MBA facilitating a workshop last Friday

To ensure the delivery of quality clinical services, Urban Balance supports the professional development of its therapists by providing regular and ongoing consultation. Last Friday, a group of UB clinicians attended a UB sponsored training facilitated by UB consultant, Helen King, LCSW, MBA. The training was a success as therapists received Continuing Education Units (CEUs) while they learned about the importance of the therapist-client relationship.

Helen King, LCSW, MBA is a consultant for UB with 10 years of corporate business experience. After deciding to change careers, Helen went back to school to get her MSW and subsequently her LCSW.  She works with individuals and couples, provides supervision and consultation services to therapists, as well as provides training and consultation to businesses. The scope of Helen’s work includes working with addiction, trauma, family of origin issues, depression and anxiety. Helen’s passion is working with others on their healing journey, to help them live their lives authentically and according to their values and principals.

Jennifer Nudell, Rebecca Zalman, Joyce Marter, Mariko Wiseberg & Jessica Koester 

Several Urban Balance clinicians were honored today at the Supervisory Colloquium of Counseling Psychology Program at The Family Institute at Norwestern University.  The luncheon was held at Maggiano's Old Orchard and honored students and their clinical supervisors.  UB Clinical Interns, Jennifer Nudell and Rebecca Zalman, were in attendance along with their supervisor, UB Founder, Joyce Marter.  UB staff clinicians, Mariko Wiseberg and Jessica Koester were also recognized for their supervision of Northwestern student interns at other training sites.  UB is honored to collaborate with the training and development of the students at this highly regarded program.

Every person who undergoes divorce has a unique experience.  There are countless variables, such as years of marriage, reason for the divorce, sense of control over the decision, age, identiy, children/family, finances and legal conerns.  For many, divorce is a trauma that triggers grief and loss and a roller coaster of various emotions, including anger, sadness, fear, uncertainty, anxiety, overwhelm, loss, etc.  UB's Joyce Marter was asked to speak to 60 women at The Lilac Tree today to provide some tools and resources for coping with the emotional roller coaster that is a normal aspect of divorce.  Joyce cited case expample of how hardships in life are often opportunities for growth and blessings.  While divorce is a loss and extremely stressful life change, it also bring opportunities for metomorphosis and rebirth.  There was a lively question and answer discussion period.  The following is a summary of points that were made throughout the talk:  

Successfully Riding the

Emotional Roller Coaster of Divorce

By Joyce Marter, LCPC

Psychotherapist & Owner of Urban Balance, LLC

 

• Honor your feelings and understand they are normal responses to what you have been through in life. Feelings are waves of energy we experience in the body that ebb and flow.  Understand you may have conflicting feelings and this is normal.  If feelings become overwhelming, practice deep breathing, meditation, journaling, mindfulness techniques and/or talk with a trusted friend or therapist.

• Practice detachment. Detachment is the ability to zoom out and unplug from the emotional intensity of a situation and observe it from a neutral place of clarity.

• Let go of that which you can not control. Understand all things happen for a reason. Empower yourself to change what you can and let go of the rest.  Don’t expend your energy trying to control others and focus on yourself.

• Bring your attention to the present. Honor the past, learn from it, accept it and let it go.  Don’t obsess or worry about the future.  The best decisions are made when grounded in the present.

• Discover the power of intention. As in sports psychology, positive visualization increases the likelihood of success.  We largely create our own realities through our thoughts and intentions, so clarify them by writing out your vision for your new life post-divorce.  We are both the protagonist and the author of our life stories.  Empower yourself to create your new life vision.

• Develop your vision. Ask yourself, if you had a magic wand, what would you want?  Aim high.  As Dr. Phil said, “The most you get is what you ask for.”  Use assertive communication to ask for what you deserve.

• Create work/life balance. For success and wellness, empower yourself to create a schedule that promotes balance and success personally and professionally.

• Practice self-care. Practice self-care, such as proper nutrition, rest, exercise, social support and leisure activity to reboot your mind and body.  You must take good care of yourself first in order to effectively navigate this transition.

• Silence your inner critic. Pay attention to your self-talk and notice if you have negative thoughts that perhaps come from voices of the past (i.e. a critical parent, etc.). Rexamine negative beliefs about divorce and restructure those thoughts into positive affirmations.

• Practice positive thinking. Choose to be your best cheerleader rather than your worst critic.  Cut yourself some slack and recognize we are all human and works in progress.

•  Be resilient. Deflect or detach from negativity rather than absorbing it.  Don’t let somebody tell you that you can’t do something as they are likely projecting their own fears and limitations.

•  Appreciate that progress is not linear. We all go through setbacks.  It’s how we respond to those setbacks that determines if we are going to grow and move forward or continue to cycle.

•  Practice gratitude. If you focus on what you don’t have, you will be unhappy and attract negativity.  Be grateful for what you have and you will be attract positivity, opportunity, wellness and success.

•  Surround yourself with good people. Assess your support network.  Let go of negative or toxic relationships. Establish and nurture positive ones--epsecially people who understand and support this transition.

If you would like support implementing these strategies, consider partnering with a friend, attending a support group, or seeking therapy.

Inspirational Quotes:  

"Our intention creates our reality."  -Wayne Dyer
"How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours." -Wayne Dyer 
"If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place." -Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
"A man is but a product of his thoughts--what he thinks, he becomes." -Gandhi
"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." -Carrie Fisher
 

Resources: 

 

•  The Good Divorce:  Keeping Your Family Together When Your Marriage Comes Apart by Dr. Constance Ahrons
•  Crazy Times: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life by Abigail Traffort
•  Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
•  Bitter or Better by Dr. Deborah Kidd Leprowski
•  Divorce Hangiver: A Successful Strategy to End the Emotional Aftermath of Divorce by Anne Newton Walther
•  He’s History, You’re Not: Surviving Divorce After 40 by Erica Manfred
•  The Good Karma Divorce: Avoid Litigation, Turn Negative Emotions into Positive Actions, and Get On with the Rest of Your Life by Judge Michele Lowrance

For more information about The Lilac Tree, please visit www.thelilactree.org.  For more information about Urban Balance, please visit www.urbanbalance.org, fan Urban Balance, LLC on Facebook or follow @Urban_Balance on Twitter.  For more information about Joyce Marter, visit www.joyce_marter.com, fan Joyce Marter, LCPC on Facebook or follow @Joyce_Marter on Twitter.  

UB owner and psychotherapist, Joyce Marter, LCPC will be a featured speaker at Hazelden Chicago's Clinical Connection on May 31st at 8am. The Chicago Clinical Connection is a monthly networking event hosted by Hazelden Chicago that brings together mental health and addiction professionals to share information. Joyce was asked to speak about treating addictions through psychotherapy and dual-diagnosis. The event is free, breakfast will be served and is open to all mental health and addiction professionals. To register for the event, click here: http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/event.view?eventId=3713973  If you have any questions, contact Amy Ponce at 773-339-7862 or at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Chicago Clinical Connection
May 31st at 8am

Hazelden
867 N. Dearborn St.
Chicago, IL 60610

8 - 8:20 am speakers
8:20 - 9 am networking

Joyce Marter, LCPC

 

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Urban Balance, LLC is offering a two hour seminar for mental health professionals
Cultural Sensitivity: Working with African-American Clients in Mental Health
Friday, June 8th: 10:00am-12:00pm
180 N. Michigan Ave, Suite 610 Chicago, IL



This seminar will:
Urban Balance, LLC is a premiere counseling practice of Chicagoland. Founded in 2004, UB's mission is to help people achieve balance, wellness and success professionally and personally. UB is an approved CEU provider with the State of Illinois, Department of Professional Regulation,
license # 159001182

Full attendance at this seminar qualifies for 2 Continuing Education Units (CEUs)
*Refreshments will be served!

About the Presenter: Marion Malcome, LCSW

Marion received her Bachelors degree in Psychology with a minor in Afro-American Studies and holds a Masters in Social Work with a concentration in community mental health, both from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. Marion has extensive training in African-American Psychology and methods of intervention with African-American families. Marion actively engages with the community around mental health and stigma amongst urban populations. Additionally, she provides trainings and facilitates dialogue with professionals primarily regarding mental health stigma and cultural sensitivity. In her clinical practice, Marion provides diagnostic assessments, psychotherapy and case management to a largely minority population. She also provides clinical supervision to Masters level social workers



Marion Malcome, LCSW


For more information or to RSVP, contact Bridget Levy at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it by Monday, June 4th